the real dream

Hey,
tomorrow there is a wedding of my best friend..she is now living in a real dream.. A lovely husband, very supportive family, good friends.. and wedding will be at one of the most expensive houses near the Bosphorous ..she will be the queen as the meaning of her name.. I will update the blog after wedding..

Sometimes the dreams came true.. I wish one of these also for me

23.07.2011

Yesterday, again my life's raspberry-awarded actor is the main actor of my dream.We were in Mudanya ( a small sea-side old town near my hometown Bursa ). Again I was with my collage friends and he was there with HIS GIRLFRIEND who actually an ex-girlfriend of one of our best-friends( in real life asa far as I know they are still together, but in my dream they became ex for each other). I had learnt that just after he broke up with me , he begun a relationship with her. I had gone crazy , I shouted I cried I yelled at them how can they did such a thing to me , but the girl was a complete bitch and saying me whole the time ," look I loved him and he loved me and we were aware of each other since we met my ex boyfriend took up with the situation and also you should" the raspberry awarded actor turned me and added "actuallu I had realized I loved her this was the reason I broke up with you" on that moment my anger converted into a hate crime towards my feelings , my time , my best years and my (still) alive love ... And I woke up , I still remember every moment of my dream , my anger towards them ..this is still as alive as my love.. scheiße :(


note: I checked their facebook accounts the bitchy girl and my friend it seems that they are still together , but I hate her anyway
second note: today is our anniversary and almost 1 year passed since I haven't seen him ...

22.07.2011

brother -step brother-Bursa-home-father and mother-escape-sneak out-murder-looking for-crying-understanding of what a brother means

21.07.2011-2

This is my second dream.


I was at METU in Chemical Engineering department. I had a friend she was short and blonde she was crying because her ex ( after breaking up with her because of another women ) offered to designate a project together . But she was almost devastated an crying on my shoulder and singing a song .I was trying to support her also with that song...

21.07.2011

I had gone to my prev,ous dormitory in Turkey , only my roomies were different room was same.
Oh I have already forgetten ; also our boyfriends were able to visit us. I was sitting in the room at the first, alone thinking about my past 5 years.

Then my roomies came and suddenly HE came, I was shocked , he sat near me hold my hand , cuddle me ..and start to kissing by saying I have really missed you, now we are together again..I was stunning , try to standing but no muscles of mine was working ..

I was happy incredible happy..then I consult something with my roomie but she was angry she was saying why are you even talking with him ? remember , the past..I was now in between _ my roomie- my new-ex boyfriend and more importantly my love and my logic

17.07.2011

He was with me last night we were "kind of" together, he was in Berlin.. But that was all..

Dont think that I had paying no attention on writing here .. My dreams are gone..they are not my guests since 4-5 days or I dont know nowadays I am sleeping irregularly in the morning , during the lecture , at 4 am ..

I am calling for them , I had already lots of "things" and "think"s to miss.. I need them come soon

10.07.2011

switzerland-bodrum-big wedding ceremoney-hermeon (harmeon) -bridemaids-mother-in-law-hair dresser-crib-istanbul

08.07.2010

Last night , I was a guest star for Behzat Ç ( a turkish tv series, which is Turkish version of CSI:NY of course including more drama ) in my dream.

I moved to Ankara a new neighbourhood which is central but hish-status neighbourhood. This place was close to Cappadocia ( a touristic area in central Turkey, where old volcanos emreged different and gorgeous land-scapes). When I arrived that place with all stars of Behzat Ç, I had realized the colour of fairy-chimneys* are more red than usual and some of also covered with saphire,emreald or ruby that fascinated me. Later, I decided to interrupt all polices dialogues in order to solve out the murder but I saw two main characters fall in love which was surprising on that moment I thought I had to tell it to My friend Pınar K. who is a fan :)

My dream ended here. but still colors and those valuable stones are so alive in my thoughts

*fairy-chimneys = name of the landscape in cappadocia

bicycle , car , family , simit, pool,berlin,aunt

03.07.2011

yesterday, I was in my graduation day with same people that I had last year and almost the same day . it was like a deja-vu . Last year, the graduation day was like a all-inclusive hotel day ; sun,rain,happiness,proud,sadness,break-up and tears.. meeting with my family on graduation day ,they cried for me due to proud, I cried for me due to not to be welcomed my ex-boyfriend's parents.
I was at stadium again on my dream, he was there.. when I woke up , I was in berlin, I dont know where he is ..

02.07.2011

Today in my dream I saw my high school friends but I did not remember at all ; I should be quicker to take notes about my dream the moment that I woke up !

Welcome to the blur world of me !

This blog will include all my dreams day by day. I realized that almost every morning I talked my dreams to my friends and saying "can you believe it ?" "what type of an unconsicous or subconsicous I had?" or at least if I woke up, I took some notes to remember in the morning.

So , here not "I" am, here "me" be.